Why I am not teaching full time

Last year I was a 5th grade teacher at Sage Hills Elementary. I was a good teacher. I am really not one to brag, or even to think I can excel at things. But I did well. My students loved me, their parents liked me, and I spent a lot of time planning engaging and interesting lessons. I had great management, I held my students responsible, and I always followed through on what I said. My students had higher test scores than many of the ladies on my team, who had taught longer than I had.

I don't say this to toot my own horn, but to say this: I did not stop teaching because I could not handle it. I had great reviews from my principal and all and all had an awesome school year. I had a good handle on my classroom and all that visited noticed and complimented me. However, it took everything out of me to make it that way.

I was good at it, but it was my life! My every waking thought at school or at home. Weeknights and weekends were spent thinking of the days and weeks ahead and offered little relaxation. Everything ran well at school, but it took everything out of me.

So for me to read when I feel sad about leaving teaching, or I feel like I am letting students down, or not making the same difference I did in the lives of others as when I was in the classroom, I say: I am not a failure for deciding not to teach full time. It's not that I couldn't do the job, it's that I chose not to for my mental and physical well-being. I have other responsibilities and roles in life that suffered while I taught, and I am not willing to let teaching take priority.

Tyler and I are planning for a family and the thought of the mental and physical stress I experienced last year creeping in while I am pregnant or having a baby was too much. I know that so many people do that, and to those people I say you are amazing!! I wish I could.

I know that a lot of what I experienced last year had to do with the fact that it was my first year. I have heard many people say that things do get better! And I believe them. If I could stay at my same school, same grade, with my same amazing team, I definitely would have taught again. But faced with the prospect of starting over again in Texas, I just couldn't see how to make it work.

At the same time, my heart is in education, along with my degree ;) Despite the stress, I do love working with and teaching children. So I was so happy when I found a great meet in the middle opportunity in Texas: a position as an after-school teacher at HEB district. Basically I will be helping kids with their homework, doing various projects with them, and sometimes just playing with them. Since it is an after school program, it will be much more low key, without the stress of meeting test scores and managing tough behavior in the classroom.

I'm excited! I'm excited to keep working in the schools, with kids. It is what I love. I am excited with the prospect of getting to teach and work with them on exciting projects I never had time for in the regular classroom-like choir class and music and gardening and book groups and STEM projects. :) I hope that this job will be a good fit for me, and will allow me to have better balance in my life.